Vamped: A Novel,Used

Martin Kowalski is an eightyyearold man stuck in a twentyyearold body. He works the graveyard shift. He has a poster of Bela Lugosi on his wall and a box of uneaten Count Chocula in his pantry. He drinks stemcellderived blood from cleverly packaged and marketed juice boxes. He is, in short, a vampire. But since his wildly successful scheme to turn as many mortals as possible into vampires "vamp" them rather than kill them resulted in a new immortal majority, Marty finds little of interest to fill his countless days.From the mind of David Sosnowski who gave us the critically acclaimed junkieangst classic Rapture bursts this neovampire novel with pintsize vampires known as "screamers" (children who were vamped and are none too happy about it); priest vampires who helped convert their flock into lifetime members of the Church; stripper vampires who lapdanced their way into customers veins; and one very small very outspoken human girl.When Marty decides to end his endless life of soulcrushing ennui call it vampire affluenza a threefoot blond obstacle is thrown in his path: Isuzu Trooper Cassidy, a refugee from a human hunting preserve. At first he thinks "midnight snack," but before the sun comes up Isuzu is the one snacking on his prized cereal collection as she charms him into staying undead long enough to raise her in a world rife with danger and almost entirely populated by vampires yearning for the taste of real human blood.